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Should I leave the dating sites messaging platform? NO, you should not!

Let me preface this blog post with this statement, not everyone with an on-line dating profile has ill intent.  I have friends who are married and met on dating sites.  Trust your gut and don't be blinded by hope.

As I previously mentioned after my ex-boyfriend and I broke up, I dove into the dating sites head on.  Again, this was a coping mechanism I used and I was shocked by how much the dating world had changed. The thought of dating anyone kind of made me nauseous for a long time.  

One thing I noticed was men would ask me if I had this messaging app (obviously I am avoiding using names of apps or dating sites), I didn't understand what was wrong with the dating profile messaging system.  I thought what the heck downloaded this app and talked to one guy whose first message was "send me a pic", I said my profile pics are current.  He then said "but I want one for just me".  Rolling my eyes, I said no thanks, moved on and deleted the app.  I had no idea the manipulation behind the request, maybe he had good intentions but I doubt it. The guy was no where near my type, he looked like he belonged in a magazine.  

Through my research of on-line dating disasters a tactic people on-line use is emotional manipulation.  What does emotional manipulation mean?  Basically using the power of emotion to control actions.  How does this work into on-line dating profiles?  Let me tell you :-)

Sometimes when you are on-line the person you are talking with will suggest going off the dating platform.  The person will suggest a messaging platform separate of the dating sites messaging program.  Some may think this is heightened interest and it may be, but there are always the ones I am talking about. We all have hope, I have hope that my Mr. Right is out there.  My hope is by sharing education and experiences I can help empower you to be safe. 

Often when you exit the dating platform and onto the direct messaging site the other person will ask for pictures.  "Send me a picture for me." When you respond my profile pics are current, they may respond "I want one for me."  This is generally a request for a "sexy" picture or a picture you would not want seen by anyone but the receiver.  Knowing the apprehension the requestor will compliment you and make you feel comfortable, so you send risque pics.  

Now the person on the other end "has you" so to speak.  They may use these pics to manipulate you into doing things you would not normally do to protect your image.  "If you don't send me money, I will send these pictures to your job".  

Remember when you exit the dating site platform you can no longer report a "fake user" to the dating site.  You made the choice to exit the dating site, now you are on your own.

Again not everyone on these sites has ill intent.  Just be aware and cognizant of who you are talking with, investigate them. If someone feels out of your league they probably are.  Additionally, they are  most likely not the person in the pic.  Just being honest with you and myself.

Call me, email me, write me, send me a smoke signal but I can help.  Together we can empower each other through the gift of knowledge.  

Jae Investigations LLC. 269-719-0233,
P.O. Box 2925 Kalamazoo, MI 49003


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